HENRY is tall, dark and handsome, doesn’t answer back and is always up for sex. Only thing is he isn't real, he's a male sex doll.
Increasing numbers of British men - and women - are secretly seeking companionship with sex dolls and robots, and recently more than one in ten Brits confessed they would romp with a sex robot.
By 2020 the sex toy industry will be worth an estimated £38 billion, with sex dolls one of its fastest developing products, costing up to £15,000 a pop. But is sex with one of these boy toys plastic fantastic – or a bit of a flop?
I'm a firm believer in women owning their sexuality and experimenting with new ways to reach the Big O, so surely male sex dolls are just the next step in our search for ecstasy?
As the courier handed over the enormous box, I gave him a cheeky wink. It had ‘sex doll’ boldly written on the front, so it wasn't exactly a secret what was inside.
I ripped open the cardboard and was stunned to see that the doll, which costs approximately £1,200, doesn't come fully formed but with the sex doll torso, penis and head all separate.
I must admit I felt a bit like a twisted crime scene investigator piecing together a dead body.
The silicone head was a nightmare and kept springing out of place. I kept thinking of that Exorcist scene where the girl's head spins round then vomits everywhere. Not a turn-on.
It took about 15 minutes to put the doll – which I'd nicknamed Henry – together, then I tried to stand him up.
It was a struggle as his body was so rigid, in the end I just plonked him on my sofa so I could examine him properly.
His feet had no 'bones' so his toes just wiggled about like jelly, his legs and thighs were slender, his arms muscly and his insanely-ripped abs would put the Love Island boys to shame.
Good body but I wasn't too keen on his face. His piercing blue eyes, plump lips and boyband-like hair was extremely feminine. Not my cup of tea.
They were veiny, one looked circumcised and the other wasn’t. I picked the thinner, non-circumcised one.
To attach it to the body, you just click it into the hole in his groin - I imagine if someone was riding him quite hard it could easily pop out.
The willies were silicone so they were soft, but with a rod going through them. They don’t vibrate but you can bend them into different positions. I found that a bit soulless.
I must admit, I struggled to get in the mood for sex with Henry. It was challenging. I probably should've watched porn first, which might have helped.
Getting jiggy with Henry is no mean feat. I put my back out trying to manoeuvre him around – not the sort of thing you'd want to go to the doctors about.
He weighs 61kg, which means the only feasible sex position you can do is cowgirl.
My favourite position is doggy. I think you could probably try it, but you'd need to tie his arms back so he's not going to fall forward and crush you.
Henry's silicone doesn't feel anything like skin and if you've not hoovered he'll attract every speck of dust imaginable. Again, not sexy.
He felt very cold and smelled of rubber, which isn't very nice. I could only really compare it to a cheap sex toy.
We only had sex for a couple of minutes and I certainly didn't orgasm.
It got to a point where I thought, I'm doing all the work here. Unless I give myself gratification, I'm not going to get any. So I kicked him off the bed and took matters into my own hands.
I'd been looking forward to reviewing the doll for months, but the wait was not worth it.
I'd rather get my vibrator out than faff about putting him together, cleaning him and picking my preferred attachment – setting up a Henry Hoover is quicker than this doll.
I'd recommend getting a custom-made doll that looks more like your partner, and it would be great if it could talk. I know some dolls can recite poetry to you.
There are other ways Henry could be made better, like if the willy was able to vibrate.
As it is now, it would probably be cheaper - and just as enjoyable - to get a blow up doll and attach a sex toy to it.
I think male dolls have a long way to go before they offer value as a sex partner; it's lifeless, emotionless and stone cold.
It doesn't compare to an actual man at all, it's like sticking a sex toy to a something that's been outside in the freezer for two hours. A heating system would be nice, then you could cuddle up to it.
I'd give it a two out of 10, purely because it's a good story to tell friends.
Stick the vibrators ladies – at least for the next 5 years.
Meanwhile, we previously spoke to a couple who pitted Wilko's 'Viagra' against the top brand.
The sex doll was sold by yourdoll.com.
https://yourdoll1.doodlekit.com/blog/entry/5157454/my-night-with-a-male-sex-doll
https://yoursexdoll.blogspot.com/2019/08/my-night-with-male-sex-doll.html
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